A story about life, love, & learning.
He sank his foot and yelled yippee as rubber burned, the tires gripped and he was off. He passed his F250 at almost 130 mph.
After their time with Ma and he waved the babe goodbye Shelton returned to ask Ma for another coffee.
"Shelton you looked hooked," she said.
He really didn't know about that especially since he couldn't remember hearing her name what with all that talk about her mother. He couldn't ask Ma for it because she'd piss herself laughing.
Ten minutes later he said, "Well I'm off. Thanks for coffee."
"Okay and thanks for bringing those steaks. Now that's the type of woman you ought to be looking for, a woman with some fire in her belly who appears unafraid and willing to take chances. She looks the type who'd rather be screwed all afternoon than go shopping or out to coffee with the girls."
"And then what?"
"Christ Shelton where's your imagination? She'd get dinner, clear away and know she only needed to watch a bit of television and it would be time to screw again."
Shelton loved the way his aunt could draw pictures in his mind.
"Wow, that makes me feel like bouncing back and attempting to pin her tail."
"Shelton darling, you're dreaming if you think a classy dame like that would even consider having you touch her."
"She has humanity; she likes Elsa and Elsa likes her."
"Well I can follow your logic son but at the same time I don't like your chances. Look, if you really are thinking about bouncing back why not give it a go. You've had women say no to your before so you'll be used to rejection."
""Who says women have said no to Shelton Acland?"
"Darling I think I know women," his aunt laughed. ""You'd scare them titless rushing at them like a randy young bull."
* * *
The three Acland brothers lived like they were semi-retired and each had his oldest son working as a foreman. The three ranches shared a boundary and were worked as a family cooperative totaling 116,300 acres, a complicated formula being used to apportion costs and to share profits and demands of capital investment. The brothers took turns at chairing the cooperating for a term of two years.
The system worked pretty well and the cooperative's attorney was called in whenever there was a dispute that the brothers couldn't settle unassisted.
Shelton drove straight to Uncle Jack's place because it was the birthday dinner of his eldest son Mark and everyone was invited for dinner, with drinks starting at 4:00.
One of the his uncles asked what he'd done that day since he's ducked work on the ranch that afternoon.
"I took 300 pounds of aged steaks from our last kill to Ma's and Chuck you won't believe what happened to me when I stopped for gas. This gorgeous chick drove in behind me and I chatted her up."
People at the three tables outside under umbrellas stopped to listen, including the women. Shelton was the best-looking guy on the ranch and the families assumed he'd be out hunting hard to find a replacement for Lily.
"We exchanged vehicles and he was a third of the way down Langton's straight in my pick-up when I went past her in her Mercedes as if she were stopped."
"How fast?" asked Ernie his father.
"One hundred and fifty," Shelton lied, aware everyone was listening.
"Liar, one-ten to one-twenty would be tops down that lumpy highway," said his dad. "You must have been tanked up on too much of Ma's coffee and hallucinating. This whole thing has been made up."
"No it's true dad."
"Shelton you are telling us a woman you don't know gives you her Mercedes V8 E550 and tells you to go for a test drive and she'll meet you at Ma's. You have to be dreaming."
Every one laughed and Shelton said hotly, "Why don't you guys believe me?"
"I'll tell you what Shelton," said his Uncle Dave. "Everyone is over at my place on Sunday for Ruby and my wedding anniversary. You have this phantom woman there in her fancy Mercedes and we'll all know your tale was no bullshit."
"Mom she's the daughter of some