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Ella tries a little traditional training with her boyfriend.

But this woman was probably the best looking, non-airbrushed woman I have ever seen, and I live near Hollywood. The idea that she might be interested in me, even if I did have to wear some pie, I at least had to try.

So I asked her, "Ever hit someone with a pie?"

She got all sheepish, "No, nothing like that."

"Did you watch my stunt?"

"Well, yeah, from my bedroom. I figured I should make sure you didn't get hurt."

"Well thank you for that. But I think you enjoyed it a little more than you expected, didn't you?"

She just nodded. Damn, but I'm a sucker for that innocent act. She looked so sweet just blushing a bit on her cheeks and nodding her head.

"Do you want to try? I mean do you want to hit me with a pie?"

"Oh, don't be silly, I wouldn't do that. That would be mean."

"No, it's fun! Look when it's two friends doing it, it's just silly fun." You know I didn't think it out before I said it, but once I did, I could tell it hit her like a ton of bricks. I said "friends". Looks like the girl in the gilded cage didn't have very many of those.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me through the house. Even for a freak like me, running naked through this huge house was a bit odd. We cut into a bedroom and into the bathroom behind it. This was a much better bathroom than Andy's.

"Is this yours?" I asked.

"Hmm? No, the guest bath. Wait here."

So I sat on the comfy chair in the bathroom (don't ask me why they have a comfy chair in the bathroom). I'm still naked, and slightly damp, just waiting for the crazy lady who wanted to hit me with a pie. OK, crazy is relative, and I was the one sitting there patiently waiting for it.

She came back with six cans of whipped cream and some paper plates. The look on my face must have said volumes, because without me asking, she said, "Andy was supposed to put it on top of the jello, but he forgot to."

I took the plates and cans and began to load one up. I can do this in my sleep. I can do it sexy, or unsure, like I'm all nervous. Today, for whatever reason, I did it pretty no-nonsense. I got three pies out of one can and they looked OK. Then I decided to get a little sexy.

I got behind her and held onto her arms. I had her pick up the first cream pie and showed her how to balance it, and how she was going to throw it. I was going to get in the shower for easy clean up. I'm not going to get all romance novel here, but I could tell, she liked having me holding her.

So I'm climbing into my second shower in the same house today and she puts the pie down. I was confused and probably a little bit disappointed. Was she going to chicken out on me? Then she stepped out of her sweat shirt, yoga pants and even her thong. She put them outside the bathroom on the bed. When she walked back in, she said, "I can't risk getting them dirty." I felt bad for her if she felt she couldn't get her clothes dirty, but I felt good for me, because I got to see that incredible body. Wow, I'd pose for her anytime if she'd just let me drink in this view.

Her first attempt to throw the pie didn't work well. It sort of hit me in the boobs and stomach and slid off. She was embarrassed by that, but seemed to find it kind of funny. I told her to actually hit me with the pie instead of trying to throw it, so she did. She walked right up and smashed the pie into my face, a little rough but not a problem for a pro like me. I wiped the cream out of my eyes and she was giggling in that cute, crazy, kind of high way. She already had the third pie and hit me square in the face again.

I was trying to give her a sexy pose with the cream all over me, but I heard her spraying more cream onto a plate. I cleared my eyes, and saw she was loading them up. She was using about half a can on each plate. So I helped her. Three cans = six pies. I was going to get back into the shower, when she asked me, "How does it feel?"

"How does what feel?"

"Getting hit in the face with a pie."

"Well, these are different from a real pie - no crust.

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